She sits alone at her kitchen table looking out at the desolate winter landscape, feeling just as desolate in her soul. She had been filled with hopes and dreams when young, before life took its chisel and chipped them to dust to be blown away by the wind of time. How could she know when young and full of promise that by one choice the entire course of her life could be changed?
She returns to that day the same time each year to relive the pain. Sometimes the memory comes unbidden in the middle of an otherwise lovely day leaving its ugly mark upon it. Why, oh why, she wonders did she make that choice? How long will she have to pay for it?
She has poured her life into serving others to make up for it, but still the loss is there. She has worked hard to do her best at her job and yet no promotion fills the hole the choice created. She has turned to men, food, and drink to salve the wound but the condemnation persists. The voice just won’t stop; the voice that asks, “Why did you do it?”
As she stares out the window a tear rolls down her cheek clinging to her jaw, refusing to fall. It refuses to fall just as she refuses to break. She made a deal with herself a long time ago to be strong. She carries this burden alone wearing it like a shroud, a shroud to cover a life she thinks is dead. But today, another tear follows the track of the first and they splash onto her hand. She looks down surprised as tears begin to pour unceasingly. She feels afraid and vulnerable but can’t stop the flow. A thought suddenly comes to her, “Pray.” Pray? Pray about this? It has been so long since she has thought of God. She can’t talk to God about her choice; or can she? Another thing the choice took away was her belief that God would still care, would still hear her in spite of what she did. She decides it’s worth a try: “Oh, God! Help me!”
At this point I would like to guess that each of you reading this thought of a choice you have made in your own life and inserted into this story. Good. I would also venture to guess that if you knew a friend was going through something alone you would tell her she can go to God and He will forgive her, love her, and heal her in spite of her choice. Now I ask you, if your friend is extended this grace, why wouldn’t you be extended the same? If Jesus delivered a woman possessed by demons, can’t He or won’t He deliver you? If Jesus forgave a woman caught in the very act of adultery and protected her from her accusers why wouldn’t He do the same for you? Do you really question His love for you? Do you question His ability to heal your wounds? Do you question if He forgives ALL sins? Forgiveness comes by His grace, not by our penance.
In John 5 (NLT) there is a story of a man who had been an invalid for 38 years. Jesus goes to him and asks,“Do you want to get well?” 7 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”8 Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 9 At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
Notice Jesus asked, “Do you want to get well?” He asks us the same thing. Often we have no one to help us reach our place of healing because in our determination to be strong we don’t ask for help! We see others passing us by as we remain in our position as an invalid. In God’s perfect love, grace, and mercy, He comes to us, in the place we are at, and asks, “Do you want to get well?”
If you recognize yourself at all in this story make a life-changing choice today and take all your past choices to Him and believe that He is the same Lord and Savior today as He was when He walked this earth. Be cured at once as you believe in His unfailing love for YOU and take up your mat and walk.
Too many times we try to “get well” on our own, or we reach out to others who desire to help, but God is the only One who can deliver true healing. We must be willing to ask and receive the healing God has for us, He knows every “hidden hurt” and He desires to make us well. Thank you for sharing!